NEW VIDEOS

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Session Form

I am honored that I have gotten a number of session requests since going independent. I have been so spoiled by my regular play partners that I have hardly ventured to play with new people. I finally decided to be more open to taking on new clients, on the off chance that I'll find someone new that I have good chemistry with. I have never been good at email, so to ensure that new potential clients make it past the first email stage, I decided to make a session form.

If you are interested in a session with me, please copy and paste the following into an email with your responses. For all inquiries, my email is Mistress_Varla24@yahoo.com .
I you need to ask ME a ton of questions, then you probably haven't done your research on me and should do that before contacting me for a session.

How you would describe yourself: masochist, submissive, fetishist, switch, or other

Your level of experience: novice, intermediate, advanced.

The type of dynamic you enjoy during a scene: strict, sensual, playful/exploratory, other.

Have we met or spoken before?

How do you know of me? And why are you looking to see me?

Mistresses you have seen before (references) if any:

Which activities are you interested in?

Which activities do you consider your hard limits?

Is there anything new you have been interested in trying?


My availability changes from week to week. Generally, I am available all 7 days a week, between the hours of 3PM-midnight. I rarely make exceptions for new clients.

Scenes I do not do: full toilet/BS, humiliation (verbal and public), role play, adult baby and age play, race play, cuckolding, full transformation cross dressing, nudity on my part. Anything not listed, you are free to ask.

I have a full wardrobe and you are free to request something, but only if it is an essential part of a scene- like stockings, boots, rubber, leather fetish, etc.

For the Eyes

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A Session

My submissive and I have been seeing each other regularly for 3 years now. He has complete trust in me and has very very few limits left...we've pushed through all of them. This allows me to pretty much have carte blanche, save for a handful of key activities that he looks forward to every time. I prefer to not put much planning into our sessions because we enjoy being "in the moment" and I like to play these sessions by ear. I never really know what mood I'm going to be in until I get going. This time we discovered I was in a "teasing and Sadistic mood," as he later commented.

As soon as we entered the play room, I was engulfed by the usual feelings of "warmth and Sadism" that I get each time I walk into the space. I'll instinctively take a big breath to take it all in and then I'll sigh and smile.
He brought two different CDs with him. He also does this every time. He works in a music and media store. We have developed a lot of rituals with our play time. After a guitar riff starts wafting from the speakers I turn around and command him to "strip!" I often tell him this with a grin, but this time I keep my face emotionless. He quickly starts shedding his clothing as the Allman Brothers are playing "Whipping Post." I make a mental note of the song.
Once he is naked I order him to "kneel on the floor." I slap a posture collar on him. I take the matching cuffs and buckle them onto his ankles. The posture collar has two matching D rings on either side of the neck and so I take a choke chain and attach both ends to both D rings so that it forms a loop leash. His predicament is starting to come together in my mind. I am still dressed in street clothes at this point. I also make a mental note of this and decide I'll find a sexy way to remove the clothes later and work it into the scene somehow.
I quickly walk around surveying the room and pick out what I think are probably a very strong pair of nipple clamps. They have teeth along the inside of them. I look around for nipple clamp weights but do not see any. Instead I grab a handful of metal clips that have significant weight to them. I order him to kneel on a piece of bondage furniture. I attach the nipple clamps. He barely makes a sound-his nipples have become elongated and less sensitive over our years of play. In fact I think he is kind of ambivalent about nipple play/torture in general but I don't like to leave sensitive parts out...especially when it comes to torture. I attach one metal clamp to the chain running from his nipples- still not much reaction. I have him then bend over the bondage/spanking furniture he is on...the chains from his nipples and posture collar are swinging and it makes me smile. I attach the cuffs on his ankles to a metal spreader bar.
I walk around him and then to where his head is, face down at the floor. Under his face I slowly remove a sock and then stretch and spread my toes. I do the same with the other foot under his face. Then I briefly spread my toes again under his nose to allow him a quick whiff. I know that he adores my feet and I delight in being able to tease him with such a simple gesture. I also remove my jeans. I make sure he sees as they drop to my feet and I toss them aside. I am wearing only a black long sleeved shirt and a thong. Beyond knee level, he cannot tell...the posture collar prevents him from moving his head.
I know that I am going to be giving him a beating but I decide at this point that I am not going to give him a warm up. I normally do give him a warm up. He always associates a good warm up- particularly a nice hand spanking- with a good beating. He doesn't really know what is coming so it does not matter. I pick up the first whip.
I have not the right words to describe exactly what a good whipping does for me. It becomes a euphoria not far off from that of sex...but it is at times...even better. But I digress. A light to medium whipping becomes his warm up. I move onto a leather whip. I get into a whipping rhythm. I decide it is a good time to replay the song "Whipping Post." I do so and I get back into my rhythm...my sex.
I see him begin to quiver...an all too familiar sign that the pain is intense, the endorphins are flowing and his mind is now sailing. His breathing becomes quick and shallow...almost like he is hyperventilating. I am familiar with this sign as well. I have reminded him countless times of the importance of breathing correctly while taking pain...it was something I taught myself in my personal experiences with beatings-just focus on your breathing...slowly in and slowly out. Focus on breathing...don't focus on the pain...breathing will get you through. When his mind is gone and his nerves are screaming he isn't even aware of his breath. At that point I usually either take things down a notch or I give him a break, but this time I do not want to stop. I switch to whipping his back...which actually ratchets up the pain even further.
Now instead I try to bring his mind to reality a bit. To keep us connected. To keep him from floating away from me and out of the room. I command him to tell me that he loves the pain. I command him to tell me that he enjoys suffering for me, as I continue whipping his back. I don't need to hear these things. I want him to hear himself saying these things. He says them and I know that he means them. Not only do I already know, but I can hear the affirmation and passion in his voice. I know that he enjoys suffering for me. I ask him how bad the pain is.

"Bad," he manages to sputter.

"HOW BAD?" I continue to whip around his shoulder blades.

"Really bad, Mistress!"

"Are you in serious pain?"

"Yes Mistress."

"What *pop* was *pop* that *pop pop*?"

"I am in serious pain, Mistress!"

He is shaking almost violently at this point. I stop abruptly. I go to him and stroke his hair. He begins to laugh...from the endorphin high...from the relief. I laugh with him. This is practically a ritual in itself- the laughter after the beating has ceased. I laugh simply because he is laughing. I take the palm of my hand and lightly graze over the glowing marks on his back. I remove the nipple clamps and and spreader bar. I have him stand. I light up a post-whip-mental orgasm cigarette. The first hour of our time has flown by.

Ask Me

I have gotten some good questions on my Formspring . I thought I would post some of them with my responses...kinda turn it into mini interview type of thing.

I think i read somewhere that you adapted the name, Varla, after the character in a Russ Meyer film. Is this true and if so, why and what characteristics do you feel you share with her.
This is true. I don't think I share characteristics with her because she was sort of a man hating, sociopath. lol. But watching that movie further brought out Dominant fantasies which eventually lead to me becoming a Dominatrix.
For one, I love girl gang movies. There aren't nearly enough out there.
Secondly, Varla could physically overpower and beat up men and that really appealed to me. I got into doing "beatdowns" as a form of Domination due to my fantasies especially after seeing this movie.
Lastly, Varla is HOT. There is really no denying that. And I really admired the fact that the actress, Tura Satana, wasn't the typical all American girl. It was rare that there were minorities in movie roles back then (particular Sexpo,) and when there were they were usually put into very stereotypical roles. They still are. I feel that both Tura Satana, and her Character, Varla broke the mold in many ways and I really admire that.

how did you get into the whole domina thing?
I had been fantasizing about it since my late teens, but never got the nerve to take that first step. The original Head Mistress of the first house I worked for discovered me on Myspace- I was doing fetish modeling at the time for fun- and asked me if I'd be interested in interviewing to work for her dungeon. I took her up on it, and the rest is history. That was almost 5 years ago.

Do you do anything to get into 'character' before a session or are you always in character, i.e. You don't necessarily play a character because you're just being yourself. Hope that makes sense.
Well "Mistress Varla" is a character, but she's really just a facet of who I am. Unless there's some kind of role play going on I am always myself. Once I start playing I will click into that "Mistress Varla" mode. How I act...playful, sensual, strict, etc. really depends the sub, the energy exchange and my mood.

Have You ever turned down a sub that wanted to serve/session with You?
Yes. Often. These days I only do sessions that I feel I will get enjoyment and fulfillment out of.

has a guy ever asked you to do something to him sexually that refused because it was to weird or strange
I have a few limits. I don't poop on people, I won't castrate anyone, I don't do adult baby stuff, no racial play, no animals, no "jobs" of any kind, no sex. I could be forgetting some stuff but I am pretty open otherwise. Sometimes weird or strange can turn out to be really fun.

Could you really beat up those guys if they weren't letting you? Physically I mean. This isn't a moral question.
Honestly? Probably not. But it really depends on their fighting experience. If they had none, then I have a chance. If hey had some, it would either be an equal match or I'd get my ass beat. I don't think size/weight and all of the necessarily factor into it. I'll be training in Jiu-Jitsu so I can learn to take down people twice my size.

how did you get started kicking guys in the balls? well I meant in general what got you started and then what lead you to do it professionally
Around 11 years of age I kneed a boy in the balls after he cornered me and tried to kiss me. I'm not sure where the instinct came from. Maybe I was born with it. The experience stuck with me all through my years. The first time I did it professionally, it was in a session I sat in on as part of my Domme training. It just happened to be a ballbusting session. Things clicked at that point and everything fell naturally into place after that.

What's your favorite thing about balls?
They are soft and squishy! And I don't have any! I have testicle envy! If I had balls I would play with them all day long.

what other fetishes do you enjoy besides ballbusting?
Thank you SO much for asking this question. I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question so that I can make it perfectly CLEAR that I do MUCH more than ballbusting and I am a VERY versatile Domme. I have close to 5 years of experience and I take pride in the dedication I have had in learning my craft and not being afraid to try thing.
I enjoy:
abrasion play, anal, ass play, ass worship, ball gags, ball stretching, bastinado, bdsm, biting, blood, body modification, body worship, boots, breast/nipple torture, breath play, caning, cbt, chains, chastity, choking, cock and ball torture, corporal punishment, corsets, crying, cupcakes, dessert sploshing, dildos, domestic servitude, duct tape, electrotorture, emotional sadism, face fucking, fear play, fisting, foot domination, foot worship, gloves, golden showers, high heels, knife play, leather, leaving marks, lingerie, masochism, massages, medieval devices, mindfucking, needle play, objectification, orgasm control, orgasm denial, otk spanking, pain, photography, punching, pussy spanking, restraints, rough body play, sadism, satin, scratching, sensation play, sensual play, service, service-oriented submission, silk, single tail whips, slapping, slavery, smoking, smothering, spandex, spanking, spitting, stockings, strap-ons, teasing, tickling, torture, trampling, wax, whips.
Now this is surely not everything!! BTW, I copied this list from the listed fetishes off of my fetlife account if you're wondering.

Can you enjoy a session if you're not physically attracted to the other person?
I'm rarely physically attracted to the people I session with...I just have very specific things I am attracted to physically. This is going to sound cliche, but it's the absolute truth...what is important is whether I am attracted to the energy they bring, as well as mentally...and eventually, hopefully emotionally attracted to them.

do you like leaving marks and welts during caning and spanking sessions? What is the longest someone as worn your marks?
I absolutely love leaving marks and then admiring them. I would say the longest marks, other than permanent ones, have lasted over two weeks. I prefer to have the option of marking someone, but it's not a requirement for playing with me.

What is your favorite "disciplinary instrument"?
I don't correct or punsish with pain, but my favorite implement is my 4ft. leather single tail whip.

Have you ever been submissive in a scene or normal life?
I did a professional sub scene twice with the same guy. It was a spanking scene. I liked the guy and respected him, I enjoy a spanking now and then, and we had done a scene before where I spanked him so I was comfortable with him. The spanking was nice but I couldn't get into him Dominating me...I just kept laughing which would make him spank me harder. The second sub scene I did with him, he spanked myself and a Mistress friend of mine. We were supposed to be naughty school girls (he provided the uniforms) and he was the head school master or something. That was actually pretty fun because I got to experience it with a good friend of mine. We were making each other laugh that time and of course got hit harder for that. Then we were made to stand in the corner showing off our red asses. Good times.
I have bottomed to women a few times and I don't mind that now and then. Women just know how to be sensual and I find it easier to be seduced and lulled into a submissive mindset with them.
Personally- I have let two men attempt to top me personally. The first was a guy I was very good friends with. We are both tops, but we went to a few S&m clubs together in San Francisco and we wanted to beat each other so we just switched off.
The other guy I let spank me as a going away present. I laughed through that whole experience too. I was used to him being submissive to me so it was just a really unique, funny experience. I tend to laugh at pain too. It's an involuntary reaction.
There is ONE guy that I have fantasized about giving me an over-the-knee spanking but I'll never tell. :)
Overall, I hate the idea of submitting to men. I was raised by a Feminist mother so I just have a knee jerk reaction to females submitting to males. I don't like to see males topping females in porn either. For the most part it makes me want to gag.

If you had a choice between a lasting relationship with a honest hardworking man or the Dom lifestyle you are living, what would you choose?
If I HAD to choose it would be my current lifestyle. I have worked pretty fucking hard to get where I am in life today- that includes emotionally, mentally, professionally and they all kind of tie in together. Why would I then just give that all up? Very good question!

As we all know, As we age certain things happin to ourselves both mentally and physically, What will you do as a career when this change happens to you?
Veterinarian Technician, or animal rescue, or porn mogul, or videographer/video editer, or photo editer, or sex columnist...or...who knows. Whatever I am inspired to do when I get to that point. I'm not concered with the future. I live for today

Birthday Wishes

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My Own Clips

For those that aren't aware at this point, I have started my own video clips store. I named it, rather appropriately, Crush Kick Destroy. It focuses a lot on physical Domination, but it will also feature clips of all types as I do have a wide range of interests. It will feature Domme friends of mine over time. Right now it features some of the beautiful ladies of Shefights.net - doing some ballbusting (of course) and heavy face slapping.

The store is about 3 months old and I am already very proud of it. I currently do all of my own work - everything but shooting - so you can be sure that this is strictly about Female Domination. One of my favorite phrases is "female owned and operated" and thats exactly what it is. I do, however, have Jeff of Shefights and Kevin of School For Sexual Deviants to thank for all of their help and assistance, and for motivating me. I will be forever grateful. This has been a long time coming.

CLICK THE BANNER ABOVE TO VIEW MY CURRENT CLIPS

Video News

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Ramblings

So I watched the recent MenInPain video with Flower Tucci (yes I actually pay for porn too) and I have to say I now have a full on fascination with squirting. Flower is apparently known for her squirting, but this was the first time I had seen her in action. Let me say, she lives up to her reputation! She erupted like a fire hydrant all over the guy's face more times than I could count.
The first scene that got me though was the first time she did it: the guy was kneeling before her and she was standing defiantly in front of him, one foot propped up. She began vigorously rubbing herself and in a matter of seconds there was a gushing noise and she was immediately squirting all over the guys face. It wasn't done in a particularly seductive way...it was kind of like she was doing it just because she could. It was the equivalent of a guy jerking off over a girl and cumming violently all over her face, just because he could. It was a total role reversal and I loved it.
I did some online research...I knew there had to be more to it than just rubbing the Gspot (if you don't know about this already then I shun you) and I did find a bit more information. The women who claimed they could squirt describe a brief sensation of having to pee right before it happens. They say that you have to go with that feeling and let go, and it will happen.
Because I have heard Mme Sade in her coaching of a newbie on how to have an anal orgasm, this is exactly what I tell newbies when trying to describe how to achieve anal orgasms- "when you feel like you have pee, that means you are close...now if you relax and go with that feeling then you can have your first anal orgasm." So after my further research into squirting, I am even more convinced that Gspot orgasms and anal aka Pspot orgasms are equivalent.
Now some claim that only some women are blessed with the ability to just naturally squirt. Others say that you can train yourself to squirt. I believe that a good majority of the women out there have the ability to squirt and they just don't know it. I mean, most guys can be trained to have an anal orgasm. Some just have to work harder to achieve it.
It's a different feeling than a regular orgasm in both cases. You won't actually pee unless your bladder is overly full. For men in particular, I think it is almost physically impossible to pee. So one just has to get used to that having-to-pee feeling during sex, relax, and go for it. Seems like magical things happen.
So I am convinced that I can also train myself to squirt. And I aspire to squirt. I won't turn it into an Olympic sport, but the idea of squirting in some one's face just because I can is highly appealing. It is similar to the idea of pissing in a guy's face, but different...even more intimate. Not something that I am looking for volunteers for, so don't bother.

Yet More Video News

I posted this in a ballbusting forum today:

"So I was doing this video today and the guy was laying down, tied spread eagle to a piece of bondage furniture. I was doing all methods of torture to his balls using my hands, feet, knees and ass (I sat on them and ground them), and at one point I ended up sitting between his legs, facing his balls. It suddenly occurred to me to cup under them with one hand and start smacking them with the back of my other hand. It made a nice sound. I said something like "ooh look I'm bitch slapping your balls!" Then I began bitch slapping repeatedly. I really do like the sound- it makes a different sound than when I'm smacking with the palm of my hand. I also think it hurt more, because not only was the guy reacting more but I noticed my fingers were a little curved which caused my knuckles to drive into the balls with each slap. I also tried just back hand slapping the balls while they were free. That's fun too. In all my years of ballbusting, I never realized how fun it was to bitch slap a guy's balls."

I shot a couple solo ballbusting videos for my own company. There was a lot of anxiety involved as I feel the need to oversee everything and can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to aesthetics. Overall, though, it was liberating to shoot a video for myself for a change. I didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself, and got to do exactly what I wanted with someone I enjoy playing with. Which is how it should be all the time.
Of course the videos had to do with ballbusting of every sort. These videos fit perfectly into one of the main themes of my company- physical Domination. I look forward to many more videos along these lines, and I hope my partner in crime, Mistress Aurora, can join me again. Contrary to popular belief we are not ONE entity, but I must say that we kick major as when we're together.

Screen shots to come soon...

Ballbusting Lovers

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Quick Update

I joined twitter. I can be found there as MistressVarla. I am enjoying it, actually.

I've been getting back into doing videos again. Ball busting also. I worked with a different company for the first time. I'll let you know if/when the videos are posted. My experience was a positive one.

Since Aurora and I make videos for so many other people, we decided that wanted to make videos for ourselves. We've started that process.

I have decided that it would be nice to start a Female owned and run kink empire...with the help of male slaves too, of course. :)
One step at a time, but I figure that doing videos for myself and a Dominant Female partner is a good start.

I really need new photos soon. I am looking into it. My hair is still bright red and I still have bangs. I am just a year older and have lots of new fetish clothing. :)

Back In The Saddle

If anyone still follows my blog and wonders why I haven't posted for a while, there was a family emergency and I ended up flying home to California for a few weeks. And I will most likely be heading back near the end of June for a memorial, so just a heads up there. I do have a couple things to post about regarding my Cali trip- complete with photos- but I will save it for a later entry. For now I wanted to make people aware that I am back in NYC and have immersed myself in my kink again for the time being. Acting out my proclivities really truly is my therapy- as I am reminded every time I escape this eccentric life I have molded for myself.
If we've lost touch through email I ask that you please try reaching out to me once more.

Birthday Day

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Porn!

So I shot with Lady Cheyenne for ClubDom for the first time a couple weeks ago. I have to say that it was all I had hoped for and more. Cheyenne is a very gracious host, inspirational Domme, and all around a sweet and classy Woman.
I have admired Lady Cheyenne and her work for years now. I have been flattered by the fact that she has been trying to get to shoot for ClubDom for quite a while. Well I finally got up the nerve to make the trip. It helped that I was able to recruit Mistress Aurora and an old slave of mine, both people I know I have good energy with.

All 8 vids have been released on Clips4sale -Cruel & Unusual FemDom. http://clips4sale.com/studio/5751

Canes for Pain
Mistress Varla and Aurora size up their caning bitch. Varla looks the bitch straight in the eye and tells him, on no uncertain terms, that they are going to cane him without mercy. The ladies proceed to deliver a brutal and unforgiving caning. Stroke after vicious stroke, the ladies smile as the bitch wanes and moans. There are well over 100 cane strokes in this highly intense video.

3 Minutes in CBT Hell
Mistress Varla and Aurora have their slut bound and helpless. His balls are history. They are going to destory his worthless nuts today. The ladies cane his balls. When purple bruises arise, Varla picks up his balls and squeezes them, laughing. Just when the slut thinks he might escape with his balls, Varla announces that next...they are going to kick his nuts. Then she gives him another cane stroke and smiles.

Bad Luck Balls
Varla and Aurora have just beaten their bitch's balls with crop and cane. Now the ladies will destroy his nuts with brutal blows to his balls. They fire off a round of kicks to the slut's nuts. As he falls to his knees, they continue kicking his helpless nuts. Just as the slut is a crumbled heap on floor, thinking he is done, Varla casually walks around, grabs his nuts and nails him one more time.

By his Ankles Whipping
Mistress Varla and Aurora have their slut strung upside down by his ankles. They crack their whips and taunt the slut. Then, they go in for the first strike. Varla and Aurora have their way with this slut as he dangles by his ankles. The ladies enjoy every cruel lash.

Punishment of the Balls
Mistress Varla and Aurora have their slut in a cage with his balls locked helplessly before him. The ladies whip and cane his balls. Instant purple bruises rise up. Varla's face lights up and she squeezed his tender balls tightly. Auroa laughs. She informs the slut to get used to the pain. His balls are going be punished every morning for the rest of his life. The ladies deliver several more strokes to the slut's balls, smiling all the while.

Toy Balls
Varla and Aurora have their play toy naked and fitted with a leather hood. The play toy cannot see or hear. There is no way for his helpless balls to be protected. Varla and Aurora smile as they put him in position and remove their shoes. They are going to kick, punch, knee, squeezse and enjoy their toy's ball. Heck, they may even destory his balls if it so suits them. The ladies kick their toy as he is made to stand up right with his hands on his head. When the toy falls to his knees, They deliver blows to his balls from behind. When the slut falls to the floor, Aurora grabs up his balls and Varla stomps on them. All the while, the ladies are smiling and giving each other high fives. They know, this slave's balls are their toys. This is one of the most erotic yet cruel ball busting videos we have ever filmed. Varla and Aurora's pure joy in busting balls is very clear.

Caned to Tears
Mistress Varla and Aurora have their bitch bent over the bed. They deliver brute force cane strokes, one after another. The ladies are quite serious in the correction of this bitch. The caning is long and severe. By the end the slut is litterally crying.

Lick Cum from her Boots
Mistress Varla has noticed one of her stable sluts lusting after her boots. She calls him in and ridicules him for being such a slut. Then She instructs the slut to spill his male filth on her boots. Varla and Aurora watch as the slut jerks off and shoots his load all over Varla's boots. "Lick up your mess!" Varla demands. The slut licks his cum off her boots. Aurora grabs the slut by the back of his head and picks up his face, which is now dripping with his own cum. The ladies laugh at him for being such a slut.

Oldies but Goodies

Here is an old set I did for an Art major's project. Her name is Olga Zeltser and she has since shot with other known Dommes. I wasn't able to post them on the Dungeon site, and my Mysapce got deleted a long time ago, so I'll post them here.


Human Furniture

Dungeons

I hope the day never comes where I feel I have to go back to working at a dungeon. I think the current climate...the closing of number of successful dungeons and the feeling of oppression...it sucks. On the other hand I feel that things, at least in our small piece of the universe-they all have a reason for being. Call it destiny, fate, kismet, whatever. I believe in basic positive and negative energy.
In the grand scheme of things, everything must have a balance. Yin and Yang. Take nature for example-it is a very delicate balance. One teeny tiny thing gets thrown off and it has a chain reaction. Why do we have global warming? Because we have been abusing the planet and throwing things off balance for decades, causing a chain reaction that could ultimately end in our own destruction. This is not just a theory. Study some basic ecology, if you think global warming doesn't or can't exist. Everything, including us humans, has a role on this planet. Things that don't ultimately fit into the grand scheme of things, they don't survive natural selection. Those that do survive and have survived-they each have a role to fill. I could give more examples, but I don't want to lose my original train of thought.
I'm sure you're wondering at this point what all of this has to do with BDSM and dungeons. I'm getting there. :) So, lets apply these principles to other things.
**I may jump ahead now so I hope you're able to make the connections. I am not the best writer**
Let's say BDSM exists for a reason. Now, I believe people are predisposed to be kinky, and it is a combination of some nature and a lot of nurture. These predilections have existed for longer than D/s and S/m were founded, and thus far kink has failed to be weeded out and eradicated. In fact, it has only grown bigger and stronger. It has survived natural selection, so to speak.
Within the worldwide, universal kink community exists a million subsets. For each niche there exists a community and for each community a niche, and so on. Which brings us to the New York kink community. I am including Professional Domination in the New York kink community.
With regards to Professional Domination in NYC, I believe things were thrown off balance. Money, and basically the business aspect began to take priority over passion and genuine kink. People are free to believe that the New York kink community is being eaten away by intolerance, or politics, or whatever the current theory is, but I believe that fundamentally things have disintegrated because the balance was thrown off. And It probably all started with one teeny tiny little thing. Negativity slowly began to take the place of the positive things of this community.
So if we want the current state of things to change, people need to contribute more positive things to this community. All of these alliances and all of this backbiting only adds to the negativity that has taken over. Some of the love, the passion, and ultimately the "heart" of BDSM needs to be put back into Pro Domination and the community. And in the quest for the all mighty dollar, these things have been forgotten and left behind.

All of this is coming from someone who has only had an awareness of and interest in BDSM for 11-12 years. On top of that, I have only been involved in the lifestyle and community for the past 4.5 years, approximately 3.5 of which have been spent in Professional Domination.

Above all, I am idealist, so I think things will get better. But I also feel that only this is possible if some of the authenticity of BDSM is put back into Professional Femdom. My ideal dungeon would be something like this:

-Female owned and operated. Or owned and operated by genuinely kinky men who have a real understanding of and respect for Females and Female Domination.

-Only genuinely kinky Females, or those with an honest interest and basic understanding of BDSM.
-Applicants should be required to write an essay regarding their experience, their interest in kink, their interest in Professional Domination, a basic summary of who they are as a person, and their goals as a Professional Dominant, etc. (There should be more included but I can't think of it at the moment.)

-There should be a 50/50 split between house and Domme. Domme should keep %100 of all her tips and not even have to report them.

-Domme should get some sort of compensation for any new client she personally brings in or refers to the house.

-There should be a training program that is continually refined and improved upon.

-New equipment is constantly being researched and purchased.

-Extreme safety/health measure are taught and used at all times.

-Constant measures are taken to assure camaraderie among employees, and open communication between employees and employers.

-Interpersonal romantic relationships strongly discouraged.

-No hierarchy amongst those employed.

-All employees encouraged to be a part of and be up to date with the community.

That's all I have for now. BTW, this is not in any way a jab at my previous employers (I consider them friends) or the House. I am extremely grateful for the chance I was given, the experiences I had, and the training I received. Again, these are ideals. And some of the things I listed were things that were already in place at the Dungeon.

Back In Town

I enjoyed my UK vacation in the sense that it was nice to be with family and relaxing to be away from the every day routine of stress and anxiety. Other than checking out every sale on every shopping street known in London, I didn't do much. The new grandmother is a fantastic cook so I got spoiled with home coked meals and put on some weight. Having to buy new jeans was a good indicator.
I have many goals for this next year and quite a few things I have to do and money I have to save before I achieve them. I am planning to put myself out there a lot more as a Pro Domme, at least for this next year. I suppose it will be a true test of whether being Pro really pays off for me. And I don't even mean financially. It really does have its moments...though at times they can be few and far between.
I actually look forward to new challenges and adventures.

Final Rapture Video

I present to you all: Pervert Nut-Kick Beat-Down!

What a great New Year's Eve present!

While this likely won't be my final video for Rapture that is released-I have a backlog of at least 4-6 more videos- it was the final video that I shot with Rapture and the final scene that Aurora and I did together there. When Rapture was unexpectedly shut down (everyone should know the story by now) Aurora and I bemoaned the fact that this video might never see the light of day. Us Dommes never got to see the footage of our work until the video was finally released.
The video really was a lot of fun to make. And shooting it was hilarious because it was the first time we had played with this guy. We knew he was a big guy, but we didn't expect how difficult it would be to push and wrestle around with him. Just trying to roll him over on the floor was a struggle and took the both of us. We couldn't stop laughing the entire time because it was just ridiculous that us two tiny girls were trying to beat up this guy that we could hardly budge. He wasn't fighting back much, of course, but he certainly wasn't helping us in the least. So the action was all real, raw and unscripted, as with a majority of my videos.
I always found that trying to plan or script a video put too much pressure on me and hindered not only my performance but the enjoyment I got out of the scene. And of course Rapture's style was always to make the scene as real and raw as possible, so that viewers felt they were actually getting a peek into an every day session at the Rapture dungeon. Of course many of the sessions we actually got weren't as heavy or action packed as the ones you see on video. Thus why we often jumped at opportunities to unleash our Sadism and get some aggression out.
I recall that in the beginning there were many complaints that the videos were all too "mean" and not nearly sensual enough. Well truth is, a good percentage of the sessions we got were more on the sensual side and didn't always fulfill our desires or fantasies.
One of the main reasons that I enjoyed making videos and made as many as I did was that I always had crazy things I wanted to try that I couldn't do in session. Mainly because I didn't want to scare away a new client or traumatize someone who was fairly new to the scene. I think, no I am pretty certain that, from watching my videos people have gotten the impression that I am some crazy bitch who just wants to kick balls all the time and kick them hard. I don't know how many times I have heard from subs, whether joking or not, that they were scared to see me because I am too heavy or they didn't want their balls kicked. Truth is, I am normally a mix of sensual, Sadistic, and playful.
For those who have gotten the guts to actually session with me for the first time, I have heard that I am actually a lot nicer and more sensual than they thought. There just happens to be another side of me that is more physical and aggressive and fantasizes about doing things like beating a guy to a bloody pulp. We all need to find some sort of balance in life, no? ;)

Sex, Dreams, and Violence

At times I can't help but question whether I am indeed a sexual Sadist, or if I am just a violent and twisted individual. Well last night's dream left little doubt that sex and violence can intertwine, and that I do indeed have at least a small streak of Sadism.
The scene that most sticks out in my mind...I was at my old house in California. I was lured into the house by some guy I apparently knew in my dream, but whom I don't really recall knowing IRL. In any case, I followed him towards my room when out popped two other young men who then grabbed my arms and they all began to drag me into the room. They were all laughing like this was a good sport and I knew they intended to rape me. It was terrifying.
Well I somehow broke loose before they could pin me down and I ran out of the house to the front driveway. One of my submissive friends was out there...in fact he had driven me there. The guy that had originally lured me into the house had ran out after me and I looked to my friend to help. After all, he is a big guy and quite chivalrous. Well when the guy was close to nabbing me, my friend jumped him and threw saran wrap over his head, wrestling him to the ground.
I was suddenly overcome with rage by what had almost occurred to me and I jumped on the guy. A struggle ensued, with me trying to keep the saran wrap over his face and him thrashing around. He kept finding ways to leak in some air and I became more and more irate because I just wanted him to pass out. I kept trying different variations and positions to prevent him from somehow getting air. At some point he did completely go limp and I began to fear that I had killed him. I took the saran wrap off his head, but seconds later he came to life. He had either been faking it, or had temporarily passed out.
The struggle continued and at some point I had his head in a scissor lock...with my right leg covering the saran wrap over his nose and mouth. I was overcome by my emotions at that moment...the passion of my anger and indignation, the violence, the power struggle, the hold I had on him which I have used as a sensual means of physical Dominance in my play. I suddenly became very aroused and nearly had an orgasm, at which point I awoke in bed, exhausted, damp with sweat and shivering.