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Saturday, March 20, 2010

For the Eyes









I know people like to go to a blog and see sexy pictures. I am one of those visual persons and I have been meaning to post these photos for a while now. These are from my last photoshoot I did a few months ago. They were shot by smut peddler and artist, Bob Coulter.
Quick back story on Coulter- I went through a phase of doing art nude, erotic and fetish modeling. At the time, Coulter was looking for models for his latest book- Bad Girls Hotel. I thought a book would be a good way to document that phase in my life so I volunteered to model for him. This was over 5 years ago. It was the photos from that shoot that I had posted on my Myspace profile as the time- that led to me being hired as a Professional Dominatrix. So 5 years later, Bob and I ran into each other again on Twitter and decided to shoot again for his websites: http://crazybabe.com/ I've been indie as a Pro for over a year now. Things just kind of have a way of coming full circle.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Session

My submissive and I have been seeing each other regularly for 3 years now. He has complete trust in me and has very very few limits left...we've pushed through all of them. This allows me to pretty much have carte blanche, save for a handful of key activities that he looks forward to every time. I prefer to not put much planning into our sessions because we enjoy being "in the moment" and I like to play these sessions by ear. I never really know what mood I'm going to be in until I get going. This time we discovered I was in a "teasing and Sadistic mood," as he later commented.

As soon as we entered the play room, I was engulfed by the usual feelings of "warmth and Sadism" that I get each time I walk into the space. I'll instinctively take a big breath to take it all in and then I'll sigh and smile.
He brought two different CDs with him. He also does this every time. He works in a music and media store. We have developed a lot of rituals with our play time. After a guitar riff starts wafting from the speakers I turn around and command him to "strip!" I often tell him this with a grin, but this time I keep my face emotionless. He quickly starts shedding his clothing as the Allman Brothers are playing "Whipping Post." I make a mental note of the song.
Once he is naked I order him to "kneel on the floor." I slap a posture collar on him. I take the matching cuffs and buckle them onto his ankles. The posture collar has two matching D rings on either side of the neck and so I take a choke chain and attach both ends to both D rings so that it forms a loop leash. His predicament is starting to come together in my mind. I am still dressed in street clothes at this point. I also make a mental note of this and decide I'll find a sexy way to remove the clothes later and work it into the scene somehow.
I quickly walk around surveying the room and pick out what I think are probably a very strong pair of nipple clamps. They have teeth along the inside of them. I look around for nipple clamp weights but do not see any. Instead I grab a handful of metal clips that have significant weight to them. I order him to kneel on a piece of bondage furniture. I attach the nipple clamps. He barely makes a sound-his nipples have become elongated and less sensitive over our years of play. In fact I think he is kind of ambivalent about nipple play/torture in general but I don't like to leave sensitive parts out...especially when it comes to torture. I attach one metal clamp to the chain running from his nipples- still not much reaction. I have him then bend over the bondage/spanking furniture he is on...the chains from his nipples and posture collar are swinging and it makes me smile. I attach the cuffs on his ankles to a metal spreader bar.
I walk around him and then to where his head is, face down at the floor. Under his face I slowly remove a sock and then stretch and spread my toes. I do the same with the other foot under his face. Then I briefly spread my toes again under his nose to allow him a quick whiff. I know that he adores my feet and I delight in being able to tease him with such a simple gesture. I also remove my jeans. I make sure he sees as they drop to my feet and I toss them aside. I am wearing only a black long sleeved shirt and a thong. Beyond knee level, he cannot tell...the posture collar prevents him from moving his head.
I know that I am going to be giving him a beating but I decide at this point that I am not going to give him a warm up. I normally do give him a warm up. He always associates a good warm up- particularly a nice hand spanking- with a good beating. He doesn't really know what is coming so it does not matter. I pick up the first whip.
I have not the right words to describe exactly what a good whipping does for me. It becomes a euphoria not far off from that of sex...but it is at times...even better. But I digress. A light to medium whipping becomes his warm up. I move onto a leather whip. I get into a whipping rhythm. I decide it is a good time to replay the song "Whipping Post." I do so and I get back into my rhythm...my sex.
I see him begin to quiver...an all too familiar sign that the pain is intense, the endorphins are flowing and his mind is now sailing. His breathing becomes quick and shallow...almost like he is hyperventilating. I am familiar with this sign as well. I have reminded him countless times of the importance of breathing correctly while taking pain...it was something I taught myself in my personal experiences with beatings-just focus on your breathing...slowly in and slowly out. Focus on breathing...don't focus on the pain...breathing will get you through. When his mind is gone and his nerves are screaming he isn't even aware of his breath. At that point I usually either take things down a notch or I give him a break, but this time I do not want to stop. I switch to whipping his back...which actually ratchets up the pain even further.
Now instead I try to bring his mind to reality a bit. To keep us connected. To keep him from floating away from me and out of the room. I command him to tell me that he loves the pain. I command him to tell me that he enjoys suffering for me, as I continue whipping his back. I don't need to hear these things. I want him to hear himself saying these things. He says them and I know that he means them. Not only do I already know, but I can hear the affirmation and passion in his voice. I know that he enjoys suffering for me. I ask him how bad the pain is.

"Bad," he manages to sputter.

"HOW BAD?" I continue to whip around his shoulder blades.

"Really bad, Mistress!"

"Are you in serious pain?"

"Yes Mistress."

"What *pop* was *pop* that *pop pop*?"

"I am in serious pain, Mistress!"

He is shaking almost violently at this point. I stop abruptly. I go to him and stroke his hair. He begins to laugh...from the endorphin high...from the relief. I laugh with him. This is practically a ritual in itself- the laughter after the beating has ceased. I laugh simply because he is laughing. I take the palm of my hand and lightly graze over the glowing marks on his back. I remove the nipple clamps and and spreader bar. I have him stand. I light up a post-whip-mental orgasm cigarette. The first hour of our time has flown by.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Ask Me

I have gotten some good questions on my Formspring . I thought I would post some of them with my responses...kinda turn it into mini interview type of thing.

I think i read somewhere that you adapted the name, Varla, after the character in a Russ Meyer film. Is this true and if so, why and what characteristics do you feel you share with her.
This is true. I don't think I share characteristics with her because she was sort of a man hating, sociopath. lol. But watching that movie further brought out Dominant fantasies which eventually lead to me becoming a Dominatrix.
For one, I love girl gang movies. There aren't nearly enough out there.
Secondly, Varla could physically overpower and beat up men and that really appealed to me. I got into doing "beatdowns" as a form of Domination due to my fantasies especially after seeing this movie.
Lastly, Varla is HOT. There is really no denying that. And I really admired the fact that the actress, Tura Satana, wasn't the typical all American girl. It was rare that there were minorities in movie roles back then (particular Sexpo,) and when there were they were usually put into very stereotypical roles. They still are. I feel that both Tura Satana, and her Character, Varla broke the mold in many ways and I really admire that.


how did you get into the whole domina thing?
I had been fantasizing about it since my late teens, but never got the nerve to take that first step. The original Head Mistress of the first house I worked for discovered me on Myspace- I was doing fetish modeling at the time for fun- and asked me if I'd be interested in interviewing to work for her dungeon. I took her up on it, and the rest is history. That was almost 5 years ago.

Do you do anything to get into 'character' before a session or are you always in character, i.e. You don't necessarily play a character because you're just being yourself. Hope that makes sense.
Well "Mistress Varla" is a character, but she's really just a facet of who I am. Unless there's some kind of role play going on I am always myself. Once I start playing I will click into that "Mistress Varla" mode. How I act...playful, sensual, strict, etc. really depends the sub, the energy exchange and my mood.

Have You ever turned down a sub that wanted to serve/session with You?
Yes. Often. These days I only do sessions that I feel I will get enjoyment and fulfillment out of.

has a guy ever asked you to do something to him sexually that refused because it was to weird or strange
I have a few limits. I don't poop on people, I won't castrate anyone, I don't do adult baby stuff, no racial play, no animals, no "jobs" of any kind, no sex. I could be forgetting some stuff but I am pretty open otherwise. Sometimes weird or strange can turn out to be really fun.

Could you really beat up those guys if they weren't letting you? Physically I mean. This isn't a moral question.
Honestly? Probably not. But it really depends on their fighting experience. If they had none, then I have a chance. If hey had some, it would either be an equal match or I'd get my ass beat. I don't think size/weight and all of the necessarily factor into it. I'll be training in Jiu-Jitsu so I can learn to take down people twice my size.

how did you get started kicking guys in the balls? well I meant in general what got you started and then what lead you to do it professionally
Around 11 years of age I kneed a boy in the balls after he cornered me and tried to kiss me. I'm not sure where the instinct came from. Maybe I was born with it. The experience stuck with me all through my years. The first time I did it professionally, it was in a session I sat in on as part of my Domme training. It just happened to be a ballbusting session. Things clicked at that point and everything fell naturally into place after that.

What's your favorite thing about balls?
They are soft and squishy! And I don't have any! I have testicle envy! If I had balls I would play with them all day long.

what other fetishes do you enjoy besides ballbusting?
Thank you SO much for asking this question. I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question so that I can make it perfectly CLEAR that I do MUCH more than ballbusting and I am a VERY versatile Domme. I have close to 5 years of experience and I take pride in the dedication I have had in learning my craft and not being afraid to try thing.
I enjoy:
abrasion play, anal, ass play, ass worship, ball gags, ball stretching, bastinado, bdsm, biting, blood, body modification, body worship, boots, breast/nipple torture, breath play, caning, cbt, chains, chastity, choking, cock and ball torture, corporal punishment, corsets, crying, cupcakes, dessert sploshing, dildos, domestic servitude, duct tape, electrotorture, emotional sadism, face fucking, fear play, fisting, foot domination, foot worship, gloves, golden showers, high heels, knife play, leather, leaving marks, lingerie, masochism, massages, medieval devices, mindfucking, needle play, objectification, orgasm control, orgasm denial, otk spanking, pain, photography, punching, pussy spanking, restraints, rough body play, sadism, satin, scratching, sensation play, sensual play, service, service-oriented submission, silk, single tail whips, slapping, slavery, smoking, smothering, spandex, spanking, spitting, stockings, strap-ons, teasing, tickling, torture, trampling, wax, whips.
Now this is surely not everything!! BTW, I copied this list from the listed fetishes off of my fetlife account if you're wondering.


Can you enjoy a session if you're not physically attracted to the other person?
I'm rarely physically attracted to the people I session with...I just have very specific things I am attracted to physically. This is going to sound cliche, but it's the absolute truth...what is important is whether I am attracted to the energy they bring, as well as mentally...and eventually, hopefully emotionally attracted to them.

do you like leaving marks and welts during caning and spanking sessions? What is the longest someone as worn your marks?
I absolutely love leaving marks and then admiring them. I would say the longest marks, other than permanent ones, have lasted over two weeks. I prefer to have the option of marking someone, but it's not a requirement for playing with me.

What is your favorite "disciplinary instrument"?
I don't correct or punsish with pain, but my favorite implement is my 4ft. leather single tail whip.

Have you ever been submissive in a scene or normal life?
I did a professional sub scene twice with the same guy. It was a spanking scene. I liked the guy and respected him, I enjoy a spanking now and then, and we had done a scene before where I spanked him so I was comfortable with him. The spanking was nice but I couldn't get into him Dominating me...I just kept laughing which would make him spank me harder. The second sub scene I did with him, he spanked myself and a Mistress friend of mine. We were supposed to be naughty school girls (he provided the uniforms) and he was the head school master or something. That was actually pretty fun because I got to experience it with a good friend of mine. We were making each other laugh that time and of course got hit harder for that. Then we were made to stand in the corner showing off our red asses. Good times.
I have bottomed to women a few times and I don't mind that now and then. Women just know how to be sensual and I find it easier to be seduced and lulled into a submissive mindset with them.
Personally- I have let two men attempt to top me personally. The first was a guy I was very good friends with. We are both tops, but we went to a few S&m clubs together in San Francisco and we wanted to beat each other so we just switched off.
The other guy I let spank me as a going away present. I laughed through that whole experience too. I was used to him being submissive to me so it was just a really unique, funny experience. I tend to laugh at pain too. It's an involuntary reaction.
There is ONE guy that I have fantasized about giving me an over-the-knee spanking but I'll never tell. :)
Overall, I hate the idea of submitting to men. I was raised by a Feminist mother so I just have a knee jerk reaction to females submitting to males. I don't like to see males topping females in porn either. For the most part it makes me want to gag.


If you had a choice between a lasting relationship with a honest hardworking man or the Dom lifestyle you are living, what would you choose?
If I HAD to choose it would be my current lifestyle. I have worked pretty fucking hard to get where I am in life today- that includes emotionally, mentally, professionally and they all kind of tie in together. Why would I then just give that all up? Very good question!

As we all know, As we age certain things happin to ourselves both mentally and physically, What will you do as a career when this change happens to you?
Veterinarian Technician, or animal rescue, or porn mogul, or videographer/video editer, or photo editer, or sex columnist...or...who knows. Whatever I am inspired to do when I get to that point. I'm not concered with the future. I live for today